Sunday, May 18, 2008

something a little more depressing...

I wanted to share this thought with whoever wanted to read it, I wrote this at the airport the day I left for New York. kinda illustrates the bittersweet of it all.

"There is something undeniably depressing about the airport, the way people are dashing from one destination to another. The way we are all leaving something behind to purse something else. Business? Pleasure? Doesn't really matter, its all just white noise.

I keep just waiting to go home. Back to my little place in Covewood Village. Back to Teeny and Gizmo and Bear. Back to what I feel is home. Safe. I keep thinking that things aren’t changing, or maybe its just that I wish things weren’t. Between the lines of all the excitement of it all, there is pain and fear. Fear that I am leaving what I know so well and love with all my heart behind to purse something I only know in my dreams. Are all dreams worth chasing? Or are some just suppose to be dreamt while we keep living our comfortable lives. I don’t know what the future holds for me, hell I don’t even know what I want anymore. I thought I had it all figured out and now that my life is happening the way I always wanted it to, I’m realizing that my life has been happening, and in such a moving way. Despite the heartbreak and hardships of the last four years, I feel like it was my transitional time between being a youth, and a woman. For the first time I really feel like I know myself and now I’m leaving all I know behind."

2 comments:

Candice and Keith said...

Well, you never know unless you try. You always have the opportunity to go back or somewhere else and you will always look at this part of your life as an adventure. Just remember that it's okay to accept that your dreams aren't necessarily all they are cracked up to be. But either way, at least you tried something new.

Candice and Keith said...

Keith here. The book of life has many chapters. This is just the start of a new one. Look at it as an experience that you will think back on one day and smile at. That is why we have adventures, for the memories, and to remind us that we are alive. Buck up camper. I am impressed by your independence and courage. You should be proud of yourself.

The Piper Times