"There is something undeniably depressing about the airport, the way people are dashing from one destination to another. The way we are all leaving something behind to purse something else. Business? Pleasure? Doesn't really matter, its all just white noise.
I keep just waiting to go home. Back to my little place in Covewood Village. Back to Teeny and Gizmo and Bear. Back to what I feel is home. Safe. I keep thinking that things aren’t changing, or maybe its just that I wish things weren’t. Between the lines of all the excitement of it all, there is pain and fear. Fear that I am leaving what I know so well and love with all my heart behind to purse something I only know in my dreams. Are all dreams worth chasing? Or are some just suppose to be dreamt while we keep living our comfortable lives. I don’t know what the future holds for me, hell I don’t even know what I want anymore. I thought I had it all figured out and now that my life is happening the way I always wanted it to, I’m realizing that my life has been happening, and in such a moving way. Despite the heartbreak and hardships of the last four years, I feel like it was my transitional time between being a youth, and a woman. For the first time I really feel like I know myself and now I’m leaving all I know behind."
Sunday, May 18, 2008
something a little more depressing...
I wanted to share this thought with whoever wanted to read it, I wrote this at the airport the day I left for New York. kinda illustrates the bittersweet of it all.